Are we so jaded, we cannot recognize someone being nice?


Amazing, true fact. People have so filled their minds with blathering nonsense and dreams of being offended that they are increasingly unable to see something nice for what it is. 

I oversee The Ethics Award here in Austin. A local university pays me to teach students to vet the nominees. The nonprofit that sponsors the award pays me to speak to organizations about ethics. That means, I get paid to recognize and educate organizations on - this is part that baffles people - how to win the ethics award.

If I was nominated for an award and someone offered to coach me on how to win it, I'd say thank you and listen. Wouldn't you? 

I find that most people do not. 

My offer attaches no strings. The email specifically says I do no fundraising and there's no charge. For 40 minutes, I coach anyone in the room on what it takes to win the award. That's it.

Most people cannot accept that gift.

They either do not respond, in which case, they do not know what to do when the vetting call comes in (loser). Or, this really cracks me up, they become defensive, as though someone were questioning their ethics, which is exactly what it means to be vetted for an award (stupid). So, they invented something to be offended about. 

Now, let me be clear. I do not care. Really. It means less work for me. It means my students have a much easier time segregating ethical winners from losers. This may have been the most incredibly fast way to vet people for an ethics award ever invented!

But one has to wonder if people have grown so comfortable, so insulated from real world problems that they invent reasons to be fussy. That's a mindset. Fussiness, more commonly called the state of butt-hurt, is all in your mind. It's also unethical. It's the wrong thing to do.

It's called bias. It's called bigotry. It's called judgmental. It's called prejudice.

Is this really how you want to spend your holidays? Is that really what you believe will lead to a better, happier life? 

When someone offers you a gift, say thank you. Or get butt hurt and save me some work.